I Will Get It Later…

We have all been there, done that! That famous line we use when we are too lazy to reach in the back seat to pick up that bag, or too overwhelmed to grab the cup in the cup holder that is right next to you! It has happened to the best of us, when we use that classic line to a friend, sibling, significant other or even a parent. The sad truth is that we won’t get it later, in fact it is going to sit there, and sit there, the bag will get stepped on, the last sip of the drink will mold in the cup and more items will fall to the backseat.

I wish I knew why it happened, or how it started happening actually. Do we inherit this tendency? Or does it just start happening out of nowhere? Walk through a parking lot and you will see that you are not alone! So many people…actually many women are doing this. It is like an invitation to get robbed. We leave valuable sweaters, shoes, accessories and who knows what else in there. But the fact of the matter is that we do it without even really thinking about it! I can tell you right now that I have a car load of things, literally a car load.

It all starts in the trunk; I do my spring cleaning and place all of my items to be donated into a humongous box, this box then has to be placed into the trunk by my brother because it is bigger than me. The issue with placing my items in this larger than life box is that I will not be able to remove it from the trunk on my own! What ends up happening is the box will stay there for months, and the stuff that I once had in the backseat then gets transferred into the trunk in order to make room for other passengers. The things that could possibly be pushed from the backseat are; scarves, coats sweaters, shoes, magazines, books, a backpack (that I haven’t used in a year) and so much more. Luckily this adds weight to the trunk in the case that it snows and I don’t have to worry about having a lighter vehicle.

But the cycle continues to happen, all of these items stay in the trunk like a neglected pair of Nike Free Runs that you bought last summer to get you motivated to workout. We start throwing that sweater we took off to the backseat because the weather is warming up; you brought a change of shoes because you are going antiquing in the county and it rained so it will be muddy (those stay in the back); someone returned your books and you just decide you are in no rush to remove them; you needed to scrape your windshield last winter, but decided to keep the scraper in the back in case the spring frost curses your windshield.

And that’s when drive-thru beverages, reusable tumblers and water bottles happened! This was one of the biggest curses that hit most of us! You are driving around, running errands, and you finish your latte. You take that last sip and instead of bringing the cup to the nearest garbage, you leave it in your cup holder. The cup is sitting there either in the cold weather to freeze, or in the hot summer months creating bacteria. When you are at your destination, you get so thirsty, like at the mall since it is so dry in there. You grab a water bottle and have a few sips, get to the car and throw it on the passenger seat. You drive home get out of the car, and there rests the water bottle which will get thrown to the ground when a passenger enters, and the cup sits there getting moldy.

I really wish I knew why this happened or why we do it. It is the, I will get it later curse that seems really hard to break. Even when you clean out your car and vow to keep it clean, just that one item you leave in there will throw off the whole vow you just made. Once you make the exception for one item to stay in the car under this curse, it is like one big disaster, because you will not get it later, you will not get any item later until you decide to do one big clean…and then it all happens again!

The Power of a Green Apron

That unstained white polo, the bold black crisp polo, fresh black pants, crisp khakis, shoes with no holes, a fancy cardigan…just a few of the things that used to be.

It’s coming to an end, did I think I would be this sad about it…no…no I did not. It all began five and a half years ago when I got the call for my interview. One summer day when I was about 17, after working at a grocery store for a year, I was so fed up with my new manager, and decided to drop a resume off at Starbucks on the way home. Why did I have a resume on hand? I do not know, but dropping off that resume was one of the best decisions I had made.

I knew that a tall blonde worked there, whom also happened to know my darkest secrets, and I thought it would be a great idea to apply there. Well lone behold, she was working that day, it was like a sign from the celebrity Gods that it was meant to be. I hadn’t heard anything for two weeks, but then the phone rang, and for someone who rarely gets the phone, I got it. It was one of the happiest moments, I was about to start University and I had hopes of starting a new job as well.

As a former cashier, I was sick and tired of ringing groceries through every weekend, and having to deal with a new manager who hated me for some reason, I was just about ready to walk out of there.

But now, I was about to be a cool barista, who answered to a beep, made complicated handcrafted beverages that you soon find out actually are not complicated and working with a very dynamic team.

There I began a journey of growth, self-realization and change.

I will say that some of my fondest memories happened there with those people. I saw people come and go, some I still keep in touch with and others I don’t. This store became my family, my routine; it became something that I took pride in and something that I enjoyed.

I can look back on my first days of training, thinking back to the times I would cry before work because I was so scared that I would not get the hang of drive-thru or be quick enough on bar, and now I look back and cry to think that the good times are all over, but all good things must come to an end.

From my days of training and getting to know people, I was so intimidated by some and clicked with others. Those who I was intimidated by became some of the people that had such an impact on my life. And from those people was how I learned how to welcome new partners.

Well, to be honest, I wouldn’t call it welcoming, I would call it territorial. Being territorial is how you have to welcome others, you become the mother bear, and your coworkers are your cubs, and the newcomers have to win your trust. If you were a victim of this, I think you probably have by now realized I am not a terrible person; I just care about my family and eventually everyone makes their way into the family.

This place was the birth of Nazberries, Delta Tweet, kitten talk, singing orders to customers, our love for birds, our obsession with Lindsay Lohan, the Lindsay bird, Motor Boating Mondays, Titty Tuesdays, Hump Day, Thong Thursday/Slap Janet’s Butt Day, Frisky Fridays and Saturday and Sunday were the days of rest.

Lindsay Bird
Lindsay Bird
Hump Day Rock
Hump Day Rock

We then birthed confession days, which was originally just a Monday night thing, which then turned into an every night thing (this was beneficial because it allowed us to get to know everyone better).

We were inventive, innovative and creative. We tried to make all events fun, and never passed up a theme. But now, it’s time for me to walk away and start a new theme, time for me to move “onward” and time for me to face fear. I fear change, but sometimes we must face our biggest fears head-on and make way for new opportunities.

Stained white polo’s, faded black polo’s, worn/faded black pants, coffee and mocha stained khakis, shoes and cardigans with holes. We started like a fresh coffee passport, but the passport eventually gets worn and all coffee regions have been visited, and we must crack open a new passport in order to begin another journey.

 

Sunday Lunch

Last night it hit me, the thoughts I have been trying to get out of my head came back, and it was a downward spiral from there. All I could think about was pulling up around 12:30 pm Sunday after Sunday, checking to see who got there first. The long drive-way filled with cars, all trying to squeeze in. Some sitting on the porch on a warm summer afternoon, while others are crowded around the gnocchi all perfectly laid out on the table downstairs, watching her do what she did ever so amazingly. I do not want to get her out of my mind, but it hurts to think that it is all memory and no longer reality.

To think back at all of those Sundays, I think they were taken for granted, I think we always thought we would have another Sunday, and another Sunday. Sundays were the days I loved, wake up early, sometimes go to church, grab a quick coffee, drink it fast before we would arrive to avoid the famous line “How do you drink that Canadian shit,” then all sit around and wait to indulge in the feast. Never would we assist in cooking, the most we could do was dress the salad with oil, vinegar and salt, to tasting the artichokes to see if they had enough salt. But we were restricted from lifting a finger.

Other than that, we sat and laughed, as the most powerful woman I ever knew would power through the basement, walking from stove to stove as all burners were in use, including the ovens, ensuring that everything was right on schedule. You look back and think how did she do it? How was she able to cook for all of us?

When dinner was ready we would all herd upstairs, carrying up some basement chairs to the table that was set so beautifully. We would all sit in our regular spots, sometimes having to add plates because she invited a neighbour over, or someone would pop in. There was always an excess of food, so we never worried about not having enough for uninvited guests, because we all knew she made double so we would be able to take home left-overs.

But there we were, sitting there, all around the table, as we all sat, she still continued to work, placing our first meal onto our plates, but don’t worry if you didn’t have a taste for gnocchi; she had something else waiting for you. And the work never stopped, because once person by person started to finish their first meal, she would offer seconds, and basically force you to say yes, but if you managed to get away with only having one serving, that’s when the overload of more food came, the table was full, having  selection from every food group.

Thinking back, I think why didn’t I just stop for one more moment to take it all in? Why didn’t I just hold the precious Sundays closer to me? It’s not that I didn’t appreciate them, but I just wish I could have one more Sunday lunch with her, one more Sunday lunch with us all there and her the star of the day.

I guess we can’t look back and regret, but what we can do is look back and realize that we were the luckiest people, to have someone so amazing, wanting to do so much for us, someone who spent their life dedicating herself to us.  Nonna

They Are Coming…

So you have an exam and you think you are ready! You threw on those relaxing yoga pants, your lucky sweater (that you have been wearing for the last five days) and your hair has obviously managed to get into a bun! Excellent, you are sooooo ready and prepared.

ACTUALLY, YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG!

You are in no way ready! You are missing a big chunk of success… and that is your appearance. Okay, I am not trying to sound superficial here! I can’t say that I look my best at all times, but for the love of Barbara Streisand, you need to get your caboose back in your house and rethink your exam look!

An exam look isn’t just something you throw together; an exam look is not about impressing anyone. An exam look IS about feeling your best when you are standing in that hall, with a bunch of other people going in to write that same exam as you! Maybe these people have had the same preparation as you, maybe more, or maybe less. You really do not know the truth behind this due to the fact that people like to expand the truth when it comes to study preparation. But the advantage you will have over a lot of these other students is the fact that you look and feel confident!

This may sound really silly, but an exam look is a crucial part of your success in exam/test writing. Many people feel the need to dedicate their entire time to studying, leaving no time for getting ready. The thing is you not only need to focus on studying, but you need to set aside time to focus on yourself as well! I am not saying dress like you are going to a formal or a ball, but what I AM saying is refresh yourself in order to feel refreshed for what you are about to endure.

Are you lost with my theory?

Let’s put it this way. You have been studying for three days straight, you are feeling grungy, and just want to get the exam out of the way at this point. With a mentality like this, it means that you will most likely put no effort towards getting ready and will continue to look grungy. When you feel this way you need to take immediate action! This means stop studying! At this point you will not retain any information, you will simply be reading information for shits and giggles. I do not mean stop studying for good; I mean that you need to focus on a few simple pleasures that will make you happy and energized in order to continue.

In my opinion, and having first hand experience with this, I have never felt confident with an appearance like so. In my first years of University, I followed this look, this rushed and frazzled look, and honestly it is a look that makes you feel like you have a lack of confidence.

Dressing for success is all around us, and when it comes to the workforce people have to stay up late, finishing last minute things and still manage to look presentable. But, for some reason, our generation feels the need to skip the presentable step and just basically show up to an exam.

Clothing choice and showers are probably the last things from a lot of people’s minds when it comes to their grades…but truth be told, they should be one of the more important things on your mind.

Knock, Knock, Knock On Her Door

Every morning, I wake up so refreshed and ready for the day! I stretch real big, slip on the ol’slippers, put on my robe and walk downstairs so peacefully! So many things race through my mind, but all I’m thinking about is how great everything looks upon my walk to the kitchen. I grab my banana, debate on whipping up some egg whites, pour a shot of espresso…AND THAT IS WHEN PANIC HITS! Sheer anxiety comes over me every single morning as I go through this same routine! I come to realize that I am not in my own house, but in my parents house.

This is when the sadness pours in, and from feeling so refreshed, I become so miserable, I realize that I do not own this house or anything in it (other than my material items and a few prints hanging on my bedroom walls)!

The shocking reality is that I will one day have to leave this beautiful home and move into something unknown! To think that I live so comfortably, with every amenity available upon request! And one day I will have to actually provide for myself? This may sound super strange, and yeah when I think about it, it is. But to think that I have been living a lie basically my whole life puts me in complete shock.

The reality of this all is that my parents have provided me with an illusion that life is always like how I am living now!

Okay, well maybe my parents did not give me this illusion, and I created these delusional thoughts in my own head. But, I have been under the impression that things come easier than they are coming now. I have been graduated for exactly one year, yes that is right! ONE YEAR! Never did I think that I would be on a boat, floating in the middle of the ocean like I am now.

WARNING: The boat that I am currently on is not real; it is just a comparison as to how far I am from knowing what is going on in my life.

I am so very thankful for the life I have been provided, but what I have come to realize is that I have been thinking wrong my entire life. My parents actually have told me that you need to dedicate yourself to your goals in order to become successful. I just decided to erase their teachings from my memory as if I suffered from amnesia. I really just thought you go to school, and when you are done you would be handed a job, a husband would be waiting for you and everything becomes a fairytale after that. But no, this is all false, you actually have to get out there and make a name for yourself (make a name for yourself in the sense of a career, not for your potential future husband to know you by)!

Why did I not think like this before? Perhaps my motivation level would have been way different a year ago! Not to say that I am not motivated, because at times I am the most ambitious person…but it depends if the topic is of interest to me or not. I just think I have yet to find my passion…because I have had many passions, I just can’t quite commit to one yet

…that’s another area I struggle with, but I will save commitment for another day.

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Unorderly Disaster

Okay, so I have this new theory, maybe it isn’t completely mine, and I am sure others have had this same theory as well, but I feel like this is actually legit. The theory I have is that if your room is disorganized, then your life is disorganized too! Now, if you are one of those people that have a very messy room, yet feel like you have your life in order, I feel like you don’t. Oops, was that rude? I think not! I am going with a no filter kind of attitude these days. If other people can do and say things without thinking about the feelings of others, then I am going to use the same approach. Well, I’m not that rude, I actually care about the feelings of others, but I don’t feel like holding back too much.

Anyway, I am serious, how can you say that you have an organized life if you have clothes on your floor and an unmade bed? Don’t you want to walk in your room at the end of a long grueling day into something neat, cozy and spotless?

I feel like your bed is the center of your room, everything revolves around it, and I will admit, a bed is the MOST important thing in a bedroom.

Up until the other day, my room was a DISASTER! It looked like WWIII just took place in there and I was the cleanup crew. It was tragic, really! I, myself am a very organized person, and well at least I thought I was, but for the last few months my life was disorganized. Not really knowing what I was doing with it (well I still don’t), everything was in shambles; my thoughts and my living space.

That is when it hit me; I thought how can I live like this? How can my room be an unorderly disaster? That is when I literally ripped everything OUT from my drawers and closets! Literally had everything lying on my bed ready to be sorted and tossed. I needed to change my life right then and there! I had already made a lot of progress in terms of my personal life, and I was super proud of myself to do so, but there was something standing in the way, and that was my disastrous room. It was a turning point for me. I needed my room to be neat, orderly and comforting in order for me to pursue any other life changing thoughts.

Now, I am going to do what I always do, and that is assess myself. As a super paranoid person, I feel the need to assess any decisions I have made because I feel like I am way too impulsive. So, is my theory crazy or normal? Well I do not really consider myself normal or any of my thoughts, no one is really normal, we all have our quirks, but I also do not think I am crazy. I just simply think I made a smart move by detoxifying my room. I feel like there were too many memories of the past and too many toxic thoughts going through my mind to keep it organized in the first place! And that is why it got to the point that it did.

Will my room stay like so? Who knows! All I know is that I am feeling great for the time being.Image