I have had writers block for a little while, and even if I did produce any writing, it was not up to standard with my original thoughts. However, after this week I realized why I have had this restriction from writing…I had nothing to write about. Silly right? But it is true, there was nothing exciting nor thought provoking happening in my life that would cause me to write. I was yet in another rut, one of those ruts where you know that you need to make a major change or even a major decision in order to get anywhere in life. I was trying to tell myself that I was happy with my current situation, and that opportunity would come my way when I was ready for it. The thing is, that is not true, opportunity does not come to those who wait around, it does not come to those who constantly worry. Opportunity comes to the risk-takers, because they are the ones going after it, opportunity comes to those who do not fear change. I have had this fear of change for some time now, this fear of failure and this fear of having to start over. Who fears that? I am sure a lot of people, but why do we fear is the question.
For anyone that knows me well, I have this weird obsession and attachment with home. Maybe it is the comfort thing, or maybe I just enjoy home in general. But my attachment to home has become a major problem and has restricted me from taking a leap and doing something that I actually want to do. Sure, I do things here in Windsor if I want, but let’s be honest what is there to do here? Not that I dislike the city, it is the fact that it is the same thing day in and day out.
My life changing experience came this week while settling Vince in Toronto for his Internship. I have always had an underlying desire to move to Toronto, I have actually applied and have been accepted to various programs. However, there was always something inside of me telling me not to go. Yeah, I know what it was now, it was fear. I let fear get in the way of accomplishing the next step in my life/career.
But, something brought me to a cafe on Tuesday, I was walking around, when I decided that I would sit in a cafe alone. This is something I rarely do because I normally dislike doing things alone. But as I was sitting there, minding my own business, looking through Instagram, a stranger had walked in this cafe, greeted me, ordered a drink and then sat with me. Uninvited, they were bold enough to just sit with me. Living in Windsor, this is weird, never has anyone just sat with me, and maybe this is not a big deal to some, but right away I was thinking that this was goodbye for me and I would never be seen again. But, this person meant no harm, they were actually very friendly and intriguing. With many life experiences, they were cultured and established. They knew what they wanted, and they went after it.
Listening to this person made me realize something, you can sit around dreaming, because there is nothing wrong with that. But dreaming does not give you experiences, dreaming merely gives you an illusion, it gives you an internal desire. However, if you just take the risk, get your fears out of the way and live in the moment, you get more than a thought, you get an actual experience, a learning experience. You get a memory and memories are something you can hold on to forever. A memory is something that will always be there because you can actually say you did it, you had an experience to remember. On the other hand, if you just dream, you did not achieve anything, there is a difference between dreaming and acting upon the dream. How long can you sit around thinking you should have done something. It just results in regret. Be adventurous, go after what you want, and never regret an experience, because we learn from those, they make us stronger and they give us something to look back on.