What Is Wrong With Us?

Symptoms – Stomach in knots, scattered thoughts, you do not know if you are coming or going, constant panic.

Warning – If you are experiencing any of these symptoms do not panic, simply read what I have to say and reflect on yourself.

There is this underlying fear that a lot of us have. It is this panic, which stems from something we are so frightened of, and the very thought or mention of it gets our knickers in a twist. It is something that I have constantly feared my entire life, and as of today I was scared to even bring it up. However, there are a few people that inspired me to discuss it.

I have been inspired by a post I saw on Instagram which read, “atychiphobia – fear of failure; fear of not being good enough.” Not only from this post, but I have recently talked to a few individuals who have confided their fear of failure and not being good enough to me. If you knew who these people were, you would be as shocked as I was, because to me they are the most confident and positive individuals. However, their positivity and ability to achieve success is being sucked away before their very eyes.

This issue has gotten my knickers in a twist because I cannot fathom why we feel this way. I cannot understand why these intelligent and strong individuals would feel like so.

The fear of failure is something that gets the best of us, we allow it to run our life, it stops us from making certain decisions and we allow it to eat away at us, causing great panic and stress about something that really is not in our control. Well, actually it could be in our control. In fact, let’s say it is in our control, we have this fear of failure, and we let our confidence slip from beneath us, allowing ourselves to fall in this trap, or a hole I guess, that those who do not have the fear of failure jump right over attaining success.

I am not saying we are not going to be successful, what I am saying is that we are delaying our success because we are giving up, or we are feeling like there are always people better than us. Sure, there are people who may have higher marks, more street smarts or maybe have a suave to them, but the thing is, they are not us!

Do I sound cocky? No…this is how we are supposed to think! We need to realize that we are the best people that we can be, but the only way to be the best us is to believe in ourselves, have confidence in what we do, think positively and know that we can attain greatness.

Story Time – A standout time that “failure” hit me was when I was in grade 7. This is going to sound absurd, but to me, this was a huge deal. I had an A+ in French, however a low 70s score on a test brought me down to an A-, this was a very devastating time, and I remember running to the bathroom that day and crying. Not only that, I brought the issue home, and I can picture myself laying on the balcony above the living room, listening to music and just sobbing.

I gave myself the worst headache, and I lost all faith in myself. Looking back now, I realize that I was an idiot, how could I be mad at myself. I clearly realize that it was my fault; looking back I do not even remember studying for this test, so I brought that upon myself.

But, the thing is, is that I did not fail, I simply made a decision to not study and learned from it. However, back then, I can remember thinking that I had “failed” myself and my parents. My parents were not even mad, they thought I was ridiculous for basically making myself sick over something like this. They explained that there are worse things in life, we make our own decisions and by making these decisions they will allow us to grow.

The thing is many of us underestimate ourselves and our abilities; we think that we are not good enough for someone or something. When in reality we are the best we can be based upon how hard we work or what we do for ourselves. There really is not such thing as failure; it is more like learning experiences. These experiences only make us stronger. We need to make the most of what we are dealt with, life is too short to harp on what we could have, or should have done. Our time is now, and if you believe in failure or that you are not good enough, then you are thinking wrong.

Sometimes we feel like we are left in ruins by the decisions we make or the path we take, however having the ability to decide is the best gift we could ever receive, because it allows for us to rebuild ourselves.

I Will Get It Later…

We have all been there, done that! That famous line we use when we are too lazy to reach in the back seat to pick up that bag, or too overwhelmed to grab the cup in the cup holder that is right next to you! It has happened to the best of us, when we use that classic line to a friend, sibling, significant other or even a parent. The sad truth is that we won’t get it later, in fact it is going to sit there, and sit there, the bag will get stepped on, the last sip of the drink will mold in the cup and more items will fall to the backseat.

I wish I knew why it happened, or how it started happening actually. Do we inherit this tendency? Or does it just start happening out of nowhere? Walk through a parking lot and you will see that you are not alone! So many people…actually many women are doing this. It is like an invitation to get robbed. We leave valuable sweaters, shoes, accessories and who knows what else in there. But the fact of the matter is that we do it without even really thinking about it! I can tell you right now that I have a car load of things, literally a car load.

It all starts in the trunk; I do my spring cleaning and place all of my items to be donated into a humongous box, this box then has to be placed into the trunk by my brother because it is bigger than me. The issue with placing my items in this larger than life box is that I will not be able to remove it from the trunk on my own! What ends up happening is the box will stay there for months, and the stuff that I once had in the backseat then gets transferred into the trunk in order to make room for other passengers. The things that could possibly be pushed from the backseat are; scarves, coats sweaters, shoes, magazines, books, a backpack (that I haven’t used in a year) and so much more. Luckily this adds weight to the trunk in the case that it snows and I don’t have to worry about having a lighter vehicle.

But the cycle continues to happen, all of these items stay in the trunk like a neglected pair of Nike Free Runs that you bought last summer to get you motivated to workout. We start throwing that sweater we took off to the backseat because the weather is warming up; you brought a change of shoes because you are going antiquing in the county and it rained so it will be muddy (those stay in the back); someone returned your books and you just decide you are in no rush to remove them; you needed to scrape your windshield last winter, but decided to keep the scraper in the back in case the spring frost curses your windshield.

And that’s when drive-thru beverages, reusable tumblers and water bottles happened! This was one of the biggest curses that hit most of us! You are driving around, running errands, and you finish your latte. You take that last sip and instead of bringing the cup to the nearest garbage, you leave it in your cup holder. The cup is sitting there either in the cold weather to freeze, or in the hot summer months creating bacteria. When you are at your destination, you get so thirsty, like at the mall since it is so dry in there. You grab a water bottle and have a few sips, get to the car and throw it on the passenger seat. You drive home get out of the car, and there rests the water bottle which will get thrown to the ground when a passenger enters, and the cup sits there getting moldy.

I really wish I knew why this happened or why we do it. It is the, I will get it later curse that seems really hard to break. Even when you clean out your car and vow to keep it clean, just that one item you leave in there will throw off the whole vow you just made. Once you make the exception for one item to stay in the car under this curse, it is like one big disaster, because you will not get it later, you will not get any item later until you decide to do one big clean…and then it all happens again!